


then one night came a blinding idea

by likewinning



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Crack, F/M, M/M, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2015-02-20
Packaged: 2018-03-14 00:36:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3402014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likewinning/pseuds/likewinning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It occurs to Tim he might be dating two different people. It occurs to him, much later, that they might all be dating each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	then one night came a blinding idea

His first clue, maybe, is a text from Steph. _When you're done blowing your boyfriend_ , Steph writes, _your girlfriend would like to know if you want to meet for coffee and donuts._

_He's not my boyfriend,_ Tim texts back. From above him, Jason says, "Jesus, are you seriously on the phone while you're giving head? I mean at least show some committ - _fuck_."

The second clue comes when he's at dinner with Steph – actual _dinner_ , with Steph _getting all fancy_ and everything, heels and hair done up and a dress that Tim's sure is illegal in several countries – and Jason shows up holding the bloody head of what Tim's relatively sure is some kind of hellspawn.

Instead of throwing a fit, or at least threatening his life, Steph nudges a chair out and Jason has a seat and starts picking off both their plates.

"Um," Tim says.

"What?" Jason asks around a mouthful of food.

" _Uh_ ," Tim tries instead.

"What?" Jason asks. "It's definitely dead. I can't help it if you guys pick restaurants with demons hanging around outside them."

Steph snorts, pours Jason some wine, and asks Jason about the demon while Tim wonders what exactly is happening to his life.

The third clue is – kind of obvious, and yet.

Tim's sure he had plans with one of them. He can't remember _which_ one of them, though, because he gets back to his room and they're both there, mostly undressed, definitely not particularly bothered by the fact that Tim is twenty-five minutes late for his date with –

Well, again, he's not entirely sure.

Tim doesn't freak out, though. Once someone tries to beat you up and/or kill you a couple of times, _most_ things they do stop shocking you.

Steph and Jason untangle themselves, say hello, and before Tim's entirely sure what's happened, he's wearing even fewer clothes than _they_ are, and well – it's not exactly an unpleasant experience having this much attention paid to him.

"So the thing is," Tim says a few days later. "I'm pretty sure I need to, you know – pick one of them."

"Dude," Conner says. Tim _would_ have called Dick, but he's not sure if Dick would react poorly or start congratulating him on finding love, or some shit. Dick is – not like other people.

Or he _is_ , and that's why he's never quite made sense to Tim.

"What?" Tim asks.

"Don't you have, like, a super genius IQ?"

"I haven't been tested in some time," Tim says. "But yes, I would say my intelligence surpasses that of –"

"Then what the hell's the _matter_ with you?" Conner asks.

"Um," Tim says.

"You just basically told me you had a threesome with, arguably, the two hottest Robins –"

"Don't let Dick hear you say that –"

"I _know_ \- and you're telling me you need to pick which one of them you're _dating_?"

"It does seem fair, yes," Tim agrees.

"I'm flying over there and kicking the shit out of you, Tim."

" _Why_?"

"Because you're _already_ dating both of them. And it sounds like they're totally cool with it. What is _wrong_ with you?"

"Hm," Tim says.

"It's come to my attention," Tim says a few days later, when they're all on Jason's sorry excuse for a couch watching a movie Tim's already forgotten the name of, "That I may be dating both of you."

Jason looks at Steph. Steph looks at Jason. Tim has the very distinct feeling they're trying not to laugh at him.

"What, uh," Jason says. "What clued you in there, baby bird?"

"Well, Conner was saying –"

"Oh my _god_ ," Steph interrupts. "You had to ask the infant clone boy whether you had a boyfriend _and_ a girlfriend?"

"Not – exactly," Tim says. He's _not_ blushing. "It's only – I thought I had to make a _decision_ , and –"

" _Tell_ me you picked _me_ before you realized that wasn't true," Steph says.

"Gotta say, I would've backed that decision, too," Jason says. Steph high fives him over Tim's head.

Tim glares at both of them. "I've changed my mind," he says. "I'm dumping _both_ of you."

"No can do, kiddo," Jason says. He puts his arm around Tim's shoulder, pulls him into his lap. "You're stuck with us."

"It's hopeless," Steph agrees, leaning over to kiss Tim's cheek.

"Ugh," Tim says.

"Oh, shut up and watch the movie."


End file.
